Saturday August 13th, I started feeling some intense pain on the right side of my stomach. I knew these were not contractions, and honestly, I thought they were hunger pains - I am pregnant after all; but, even after dinner, my pain only got worse, and I could no longer walk upright. Nathan convinced me to call our OBGYN, and the doctor advised me to take a warm shower and to rest. An hour later, the pain was still there, and I had started a fever. We called back, and this time, I was told to come on down to INOVA Fair Oaks.
It was after midnight at this point, and my biggest fear was what to do about Holden. I did not want him to wake up and not have his mommy or his daddy there. All I could do was picture him freaking out and crying (whether true or not), so I called up my mommy and asked her if she could drive me to the hospital. She came right over and off we went. Have I mentioned how blessed am I to have the mother I have?
I was admitted with a 101 degree fever, an elevated white blood cell count, very low blood pressure (90/40 at one point) and an elevated heart rate. My pain was still intense and concentrated on the right side. Appendicitis, kidney stones, gallbladder issues, stomach infections, and blood clots were all tossed out as possibilities, so off to get tested I went.
My first stop was to have three different ultrasounds, then an MRI, an X-ray of my chest (radiation risk to baby), another ultrasound for the baby, an ultrasound for my legs, a CT scan (more radiation risk to baby, and an iodine risk of thyroid disease to the baby), an EKG and an echo-cardiogram. The worst feeling was signing papers saying that I understood that these tests could cause harm to the innocent child growing inside of me. A part of me wanted to just rip everything up and leave - it wasn't worth it; but, I went through with it all anyway.
Even after all those tests, a diagnosis never came back. My pain was being controlled by drugs, and eventually regular Tylenol. I was put on two different antibiotics and my fever was stable, and my CBC numbers all came back normal. My heart was still slightly elevated, but I was told it was because I was nervous. So, I happily called Nathan to pick me up that Monday evening.
But, the pain returned.
Tuesday morning, we called the doctor again, and was told to come on back to the hospital. This time, though, the pain was not as serious, and it quickly subsided with Tylenol. After one more ultrasound, the founding doctor of my OBGYN practice told me I had round ligament pain and that the baby was breech and applying pressure to me.
That was it.
I was discharged that afternoon and took Tylenol the rest of the day. So far, that pain has not returned, and I have continued seeing a chiropractor to manage the ligament pain and keep everything aligned. From this trying and emotional time, I feel I learned two simple lessons:
1.
My faith in God is not as strong as I would like it to be, and not as strong as I want it to be for my son.
While I asked for prayer from family and friends, the only time I remember submitting myself to God was in the MRI tube, flat on my back and barely breathing. I prayed for God to hurry the test, or to help me breathe easier. Neither happened and I quickly lost faith. I am ashamed at how I abandoned God and did not continue to ask for His help; or even have the faith to know that while I was experiencing all this pain, He was still right besides me. As I try and teach Holden to love, know and obey God, I feel like a hypocrite. Do I love, know and obey God? This entire pregnancy has caused me to reexamine my personal relationship with Jesus - and, I have a lot of work to do.
2.
Modern medicine still does not heal like Christ does.
As I mentioned above, after all of those (expensive) tests and visits by a number of different doctors, no one could give me an official diagnosis. One of my exceptional nurses even commented how she thought I could be a case on "House." There was definitely something wrong with me, but no one knew what; and then, I was fine. Even though I lost my faith, I am so blessed to have had so many true and wonderful friends praying for me who did not lose faith. Thank you all for your prayers for healing. Reflecting on this experience, I know without a doubt that it was your faithfulness and your prayer and your relationship with Christ that healed me, and kept the child growing inside of me safe during that time.
While there are no pictures of me in my hospital wardrobe, I was so grateful to one of the ultrasound techs who surprised me with two pictures of baby. They are 3D, which I have never experienced before, and very fun to see. The best part is that we have compared these pictures to newborn shots of Holden, and the two are twins. I am even more convinced we are having another boy (but, don't tell me - I still do not know!).
