Happy Month-day

Sunday Holden turned one month old! I know it might seem silly to celebrate, but it has been an amazing month. To take an idea from super mom Dana Beam, here are a few memories from our first month with Holden.

What has been the best part?:

Meredith: There are way too many things to choose from to pick just one best part. Holden has changed my life! I guess the best part is when he has a smile on his face or really when he is content. All I want to do is give him the best earthly life I can, and those smiles give me hope that I am.

Nathan: When he makes little noises, it always makes me smile. He seems to learn new ones every few days. I also like when he acts spastic. It can look like he is dancing. I call it his Thriller dance.

What has been the hardest part?:

Meredith: The hardest part has been trying to figure out Holden's needs. I don't know if I have quite mastered all of his cries, I am still somewhat unsuccessful at relieving his baby gas (although I started cheating by using medicine), and just recently his skin has erupted in a rash. BF has also been somewhat challenging for me. I went four weeks straight, but we introduced a bottle for a couple of feedings to relieve me. And, a regular sleep pattern hasn't quite emerged for either of us. These will all pass though!

Nathan: Although I feel bad when Holden is upset and don't feel all that bad when he is crying, it is very hard for me to watch Meredith be upset. She is a great mother and I just want her to realize that. I know Holden isn't always going to be happy (or happy with us).

What has been the most surprising?:

Meredith: Holden loves being with his mommy or daddy (and he gets that from his mommy!). When I was younger, I would only go to sleep for long stretches if I was on my mom or dad's chest and Holden is the same. Holden will sleep for stretches if he is touching one of us - on the chest or on the boppy. I'm also surprised at how strong he is. Holden can hold his neck up pretty well and he has a very strong grip. I love it when I stick my finger out for him to hold and he grabs it tight.

Nathan: The amount of patience we have with Holden and with each other. It probably helps that I haven't had a job for the last two months, but we are working through this transition to having a newborn with very little conflict. I didn't realize the amount of love I would immediately have for this child and my willingness to drop everything I'm doing for him.

What is your most memorable story from this month?:

Meredith: For me, it would be the birth story. I still cannot believe that Holden was inside of me growing for nine months plus. His first bath and the dishwasher incident are also quite memorable!

Nathan: The first time I dropped him. Ok, I'm kidding, I didn't drop him...yet. I would agree with birth and being pooped on a couple times.

What has Holden learned this month?:

Meredith: I feel like Holden is getting better and better at tummy time. I also think he is slowly starting to get on a better routine with eating, some activity time and then sleep.

Nathan: He has learned how to sleep in his crib. He's not always consistent with it or amenable to it, but he has proven he can.

What have you learned this month?:

Meredith: I have learned quite a bit! Everything from just how difficult it is to give birth to just how difficult it is to be a mom! Holden has taught me a new type of love too. I don't think I ever fully understood God's love for us until Holden came along. I cannot express the amount of love I have for my child, and I know that is only a small mirror of the love God has for His children. Amazing. I cannot wait to learn more!

Nathan: There are a billion opinions on how to raise a child and many of them are well respected in their fields. Also, don't believe everything you read on the internet. I think I already knew that one, but now it relates to advice on child rearing. But, seriously, my list of accomplishments for this month include learning how to change a diaper, learning how to bottle feed, figuring out many ways to hold him without dropping him, learning that the cats aren't very good at raising human children....the list goes on and on.

To celebrate Holden's one month, we took some pictures to track his growth and ate some delicious cake in honor of him. Here's looking to month two!

One Month Today!

He is getting so big.

Holden with his cute whale shirt, collar popped!

His reaction when we told him UVA kids wear popped collars... ;)

Ok, enough with the photo shoot - let's eat some cake!

I Feel Bad For The Dishwasher

Normally, I let Meredith write the blog posts. But I called dibs after the events of last night.

Yesterday, we decided we would try and get Holden into a better routine. We were going to attempt to bathe our child around 8 PM, read him a story or two, and put him to bed.

After we ate dinner, I took Holden, removed his diaper, stripped him down, and carried him out to the kitchen. It was a bit premature because we hadn't put his bath tub in the sink. Meredith jokingly remarked that she hoped he didn't go #2 on me, but heeding her warning, I held him over the open dishwasher.

The sequence of events that followed can only be described as poop-tastic. First, Holden started peeing. I moved my upper arm in front of his woo-hoo to shield our drying dishes and counter top. He proceeded to soak my shirt sleeve.

Meredith found this quite amusing.

A few moments later, we heard a bit of gas and experienced the eruption of yellowish excrement from Holden's behind. Luckily, it splattered down my shorts, but didn't hit my legs. I can't say the dishes in the dishwasher were as lucky. One of the bowls received a heavy load of baby poop.

In the end, I had to strip down to help with the bath and go shower afterwards. In this instance, I'm no better than a newborn; neither of us like to be covered in bodily waste.

Thanks for the memories, Holden.

To Cloth or Not to Cloth

Holden likes to use the bathroom - a lot.

Last night, Nathan changed Holden and two minutes later, we heard the s'plosion sound in his pants. Normally, we laugh it off and change him again, but this time, another two minutes later, he did it AGAIN.

We fully expected our little one to go through many diaper changes, but have been a little overwhelmed at his bladder. It is almost like he knows when a nice new, clean diaper is on him just so he can do his biznas. We've tried to wait and encourage him to get everything out, but that usually backfires on us with a screaming Holden.

So with all these diaper changes, I've been wondering if we should make the switch to cloth. I'm not concerned with the price because disposable diapers are expensive too. What I don't understand is how you clean a cloth diaper. Number 1 I'm guessing you just soak and then wash - but what the heck do you do with a number 2 diaper? I can't imagine you just put that in your washer - wouldn't it mess up your pipes??? Plus, we have a front loader and I've read that cleaning cloth diapers in a FL can be more difficult/odor lingers/not enough rinse/etc.

If any of you Mamas use cloth, do you have any advice and do you recommend a certain brand of cloth? I'm currently looking at FuzziBunz, Flip and want to research BumGenius, and the all in one definitely appeals to me. Let me know your thoughts!

Holden's favorite spot is the changing table. If he is crying, we place him on the table and he becomes quite content. Maybe we should install a magazine rack for him.

All changed and clean - perfect for another mess!

The finished product!

One Small Step

Currently, Holden sleeps in a co-sleeper in our bed. We tried the newborn napper in the pack 'n play, but he was not a fan. Also, I am nursing about twice a night and it is easier right now to have him in the same room (I know, I should invest in a glider for the nursery).

All that said, I know that Holden needs to learn how to sleep in his own room in his crib. Tonight, after his first dinner, I changed Holden, swaddled him and rocked him just to the brink of sleep. I placed him in his crib and walked out of the room. After about 5 minutes he started crying, so I went back in, picked him up and rocked him back to the brink of sleep and again placed him in his crib. I repeated this once more, but this most recent time he cried - - he put himself back to sleep!!!

I know this is just one night, and that Nathan and I will probably have to do this multiple times before it becomes habit, but I am pretty darn excited. Long stretches of sleep at night in our future - - count me in!

In Need of a Rubber Ducky

Holden has not quite embraced bath time yet. Granted, we are still doing mostly a sponge bath with him, and I think he gets upset by the cold more so than the soap and water. Nathan and I team together because Holden gets so squirmy and upset. I usually wash him while Nathan tries to entertain and soothe him.

Holden's umbilical cord fell off about a week ago, so hopefully we will try more of a real bath soon.

Spots and Spit-Up

A few days before Holden's birth, my tummy started breaking out in a nice red rash. I wasn't too concerned because 1) it wasn't spreading and 2) I was focused on getting this child out of me. Right after Holden was born, though, the rash started to spread and the itch was ridiculous. I noticed the spot on my tummy was getting worse and I was starting to get more bumps on my fingers, arms, legs and my face. The rash on my face was so bad, I didn't even want to take any pictures with Holden. I felt like Two-Face from Batman with all the red and puffiness.

Because I answered that I had baby blues to my OB's nurse practitioner (um, who doesn't have ANY baby blues after delivery?!?), I was asked to come in and talk to them. After they assessed that I was in fact normal, I had them look at the rash. Much to my delight, the doctor said she had never seen anything like it before and had no idea what the cause was. Fantastic. She prescribed some steroids and told me it could take up to 12 days to cure. Most importantly she said that the steroids would not affect my breastmilk for Holden.

I may call shenanigans though.

Breastfeeding the first week of Holden's life was not too terrible. He has a good latch (when he latches) and he would eat like a champion. This week has been a little different though. I guess there are two variables that I changed.

The first is the steroids. My suspicions are high on the steroids affecting my milk because this week, especially these past few days, Holden has been spitting up - a LOT. And not only is he spitting up a lot, he spits up after almost every single feeding. After he appears done, I will prop him on my shoulder and tap his back to hear that most satisfying burp. Instead, I hear a waterfall of spit-up come out on the side of his face, onto the burp towel and usually down my shirt and arm. I'm beginning to take it personally.

The second is...we broke and started using a soothie - especially at night. All the books and experts say not to use a pacifier for at least one month if you are breastfeeding. Those books and experts must not have experienced a screaming newborn. Nevertheless, Holden gets a soothie late at night and now I am second guessing whether or not I have caused the dreaded "nipple confusion" and affecting how he eats.

So, if you have any suggestions - I am open to them - as long as your solution includes curing the rash and cheating with a soothie. In all seriousness, though - is this at all normal?

These cluster spots are all over my body.

More rash accompanied by bruising from my non-stop itching.

A Birth Story

On Friday April 30 at 3:30 AM, I received the most precious gift - Nathaniel's and my baby boy. Here is a recount of his birth story - the good and the bad.

On Tuesday April 27, Nathan and I went in for a sonogram because baby was 41 weeks. Everything seemed fine except that my amnio fluids were measuring low. We went to see the OB afterwards and even though baby's heart beat was stable, they were concerned with the low levels of fluid. Even though Nathan and I thought we would have until 42 weeks to start any interventions, the doctors were quite concerned and wanted to induce the next day.

In our birth plan, we specifically requested as natural of a birth as possible. Instead of starting directly with Pitocin, we were given the choice of using Cervadil, which is a prostaglandin. This type of prostaglandin required us to check into the hospital on Wednesday evening, stay in my cervix for 12 hours, and if it didn't work...start Pitocin. To try and swing things further in our favor, my membranes were stripped that day.

We spent the night praying that labor would spontaneously start. My mom came over to spend time with me, and Nathan continued to work diligently on redecorating our place. We went to bed that night, and woke up the next morning with everything still in tact.

Without labor starting, we checked into Fair Oaks Hospital that evening at 7:30 and at around 9:30 I received the Cervadil. Nathan and I turned on some Lost and prayed that this time, labor would start.

Morning came and I was just as far along as I was on Tuesday. By this point, our doula Tracy arrived. We spoke with the doctor on call and asked if my water could be broken to see if that, coupled with the Cervadil, would jumpstart anything. An hour later, and still nothing.

Tracy suggested one last natural attempt and we got an electric pump and tried to see if that would stimulate anything. Nothing.

Our little boy was determined to stay put.

Unfortunately, while he was not ready, the doctors had decided that for everyone’s best health, he needed to be ready. It was with great hesitation that Nathan and I agreed to start Pitocin. We would start very slow, and if the contractions became consistent, the nurses agreed to take me off of the Pitocin and see if I would continue laboring on my own.

Pitocin is powerful. I instantly started to feel contractions, and they were not a fun feeling at all. I tried to use our Bradley training and moaned and breathed through them. After a few hours, the doctor checked me and I was at 6 cm. Finally, some progress! My body had started contractions, so they held up their end of the deal and stopped the Pitocin. Well, when they stopped the Pitocin, my body stopped the contractions. Not exactly what we were hoping for in this deal. I went about an hour having continuous cramps, but nothing registered as a contraction. The doctor and nurses checked me again and I was still at 6 cm. We were then told that I was going to have to be put back on Pitocin.

I cried and even though Nathan tried his best to calm me, I gave up on myself. I asked for the epidural. I don’t think I have ever been so disappointed in myself in my life, but I knew I couldn’t bear the pain that was to come. They weren’t proposing the level of Pitocin I was exposed to before, but twice the amount to get me ready for delivery in less than a couple of hours.

The “medicine guy” came into the room within the next few minutes. He was very nice and I remember he wore a New York Giants hat. I really wanted to ask him about it, but I was in a lot of pain. He administered the epidural and it kicked in instantly. Luckily, it must have been a small dose because I retained feeling in my legs completely (I even stood on the bed at one point).

The nurses pumped me up on Pitocin once again, all the way to a level 10 (I was at 6 the last time). The epidural was in, the Pitocin was on, and I was told to rest because pushing would be coming soon.

After about an hour and a half, I was at 10 cm, fully effaced and baby was at station 0. Ideally, he would have been at -3, but now I had to face not only pushing him out, but pushing him down AND out.

The doctor and nurse instructed me on how to push, and each one of them held a leg while I spent 30 seconds per contraction pushing our baby. I did this for three hours with Nathan, Tracy and the delivery team cheering me on.

After about two and a half hours, I tore and baby’s head was coming out much easier. I kept pushing and pushing and pushing. All of a sudden, I felt his head come out of me. I pushed again and I felt his shoulders and the rest of his body shoot out of me and all I could do was cry tears of pure joy.

The stress of the pushing caused baby to #2 while on his way out, so the nurses took him over to the warmer and assessed him. Nathan took watch as the newly proud and protective father. I was still in tears, and pushed out the placenta, which was a feeling of being done.

Baby received a 7 on his first APGAR and then a 9, so he was ready to be handed off to me. Nathan took him first and placed the most beautiful and precious gift on my chest. He went from crying to calm and peaceful, as if to say, “Mama, I’m here - I’m finally here.”

I was able to get him to latch pretty quickly and breastfeed right away. After a few hours, we were all moved to our recovery room. The only thing left for us was to pick a name.

Nine months in the making, Nathan and I decided to name our son,

Holden Read Sandell

Born April 30^th at 3:30 AM

Weighing 9 lbs and 5 oz

Measuring 22 inches long