I Feel Bad For The Dishwasher

Normally, I let Meredith write the blog posts. But I called dibs after the events of last night.

Yesterday, we decided we would try and get Holden into a better routine. We were going to attempt to bathe our child around 8 PM, read him a story or two, and put him to bed.

After we ate dinner, I took Holden, removed his diaper, stripped him down, and carried him out to the kitchen. It was a bit premature because we hadn't put his bath tub in the sink. Meredith jokingly remarked that she hoped he didn't go #2 on me, but heeding her warning, I held him over the open dishwasher.

The sequence of events that followed can only be described as poop-tastic. First, Holden started peeing. I moved my upper arm in front of his woo-hoo to shield our drying dishes and counter top. He proceeded to soak my shirt sleeve.

Meredith found this quite amusing.

A few moments later, we heard a bit of gas and experienced the eruption of yellowish excrement from Holden's behind. Luckily, it splattered down my shorts, but didn't hit my legs. I can't say the dishes in the dishwasher were as lucky. One of the bowls received a heavy load of baby poop.

In the end, I had to strip down to help with the bath and go shower afterwards. In this instance, I'm no better than a newborn; neither of us like to be covered in bodily waste.

Thanks for the memories, Holden.