We *hopefully* have 11 more weeks to go before this little guy changes our lives forever, and while I definitely have moments of renowned joy, I am also starting to worry. Worry and I have been friends for quite some time. As a little girl, I was worried no one would like me; as a high-schooler I was constantly worried about my GPA; and as I have grown into adulthood, I worry about being a good wife to my husband, having a successful career (whatever that may now look like) and being a Godly woman. Yes, worry and I are indeed close. And once again, we have formed another connection - being a mother.
It isn't like I don't have any clue for impending mommyhood - although, there is a stack of books I need to read that are starting to get dusty. I have dreamed about becoming a mother for a LONG time. I was your girly-girl who would carry around her cabbage patch dolls and love on them and cradle them in my arms. I grew up babysitting for others' children and really enjoyed all the fun that brought to my life, and I have been told by many that I was, "just going to be a great mom" (no pressure!). But now as the time draws near for me to actually BE a mother, I am starting to doubt myself.
Can I handle the constant feedings, the diaper changes, the loneliness of being a stay at home mom? Will I show him God's love everyday and help raise him with strong faith? Will I help make the right decisions as far as his diet, his vaccination schedule, education, even disposable versus cloth diapers?!? Will I know how to hold him just right when he is crying and soothe him so his fears quickly fade away?
Is it normal to have these fears, worries and doubts? I know prayer is definitely needed in this time - but, am I totally alone here?
Don't worry! It's normal to have some concerns...it's all a big unknown! No matter how many babies you've held, it's still different when you're the one ultimately responsible. Yes, it will be tough, especially in the first few weeks before the sleep patterns start to smooth out. And if you're nursing, sometimes that hurts for a few weeks. And your body will be recovering from birth. But you'll be just fine! Find a MOPS group in your area...I highly recommend getting plugged in right away, even if you don't think you need it...you do. :)
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